I’ve decided to get involved with this activist movement like any good social justice blogger would. I did some research on this “Boko Haram” group in an attempt to find the hostages. After thoroughly researching the topic with the typical tumblr attention to detail (a google image search), the first image that came up was this:
Surprise Surprise everyone, Boko Haram rides bicycles. THIS is bicyclist privilege. And people wondered why nothing had been done to help these girls for so long. Because society keeps giving institutional privilege to those who ride bikes.
Even though it’s not my job to educate about anything (especially my own position), I’ve decided to explain the concept of Microaggressions to you all.
According to that oppressive encyclopedia (who encyclopedias to tell me what’s true?), a Microaggression is the idea that small acts like saying something, even when not intentional, are acts of aggression. Something like questioning the belief that a TV show needs to fill racial quotas is considered such an aggression. Of course, those status-quo-huggers say that these are only performed by racial or gender majorities against minorities, but I was recently the victim of one such aggression.
My roommate moved his bike into our apartment because they ran out of space on the bike rack. That hurt just typing it but I’ve got to be strong. He moved the bike inside, forcing me to have to look at it when I want to leave my apartment. I’ve checked local laws and unfortunately I’m still not allowed to destroy the bike. There’s simply no justice in the world.
This image deeply upset me. Why on Earth would this woman try to increase the oppression of people like this? Giving Fish bicycles would multiply the number of oppressors by literally 28 million (remember that fact-checking a social justice blogger is oppression). Some people just don’t get it.
Few actually know that this is the true origin of the bicycle. Spread the word, Sheeple.
I was just released from prison today. They locked me up for “Murdering” a bicyclist. However, I was able to argue my way to freedom by explaining to the warden that Murder = Killing + Social Power. Since the bicyclist had all the social power over a pedestrian-American like myself, no action on my part can ever be considered murder. This is because murder isn’t an individual action anymore, it’s an institutional form of oppression.
Bicyclist privilege is being able to organize bike races that go right by my apartment. This morning hordes of bicycles flew by my window. I was so terrified that I literally hid under my bed for a good twenty minutes. Then I called the police only to be informed that there was a bike race scheduled for today and that “this is not an emergency”. Way to take the feelings of people seriously, 911.
How the hell can anyone say there isn’t institutionalized privilege of bicyclists when they’re allowed to gather in large numbers outside the place I live. Their very presence IS oppression.
A friend of mine is enrolled in a social justice class at our university and I just learned that the topics branch far beyond women’s rights (as the class’ title claims). Apparently it covers what it considers to be all social justice issues, including race, weight, gender identity, and mental health.
But of course transportation orientation discrimination is suspiciously absent. I plan to fight this injustice by bursting into the class in the near future and causing a scene of justice. I need your help to do this. Give me ideas on what to do and I’ll post the results.
The plight of pedestrian-Americans will not be ignored.
Bicyclist privilege is not having to see your sideWALKS abused by bicyclists riding on them. They’re called sideWALKS for a reason, not sidebikes.