Some of you may know, if you’ve been stalking me in real life, that in addition to being a crusader for social justice, I’m an avid gamer. That’s why it really hit home with me when I read accusations online that Bioshock Infinite, a new first person…
lessons white people learned from playing bioshock infinite:
1) if you are agitated by one outspoken black blogger’s opinion about the depiction of black people in bioshock infinite, it is okay for you to stalk and harass them because bioshock infinite is literally uncritiqueable
2) because you played bioshock infinite, you now know so much about racism that you have authority to try to school a random black person on its history and context (extra bonus: all terminology related to the study and discourse of racism is irrelevant to you; you do not need to learn terms such as “triggering” because by virtue of playing bioshock infinite you are inherently an expert on everything)
3) you now qualify as an impassioned anti-racist because you felt a sense of pride that you tried to throw the baseball at the announcer (and then you went back to your last save and tried to throw it at the couple just to witness the gritty realistic horror of what would happen you erudite bastard you, but that doesn’t count because you picked the right choice the first time) and you never ever have to examine your own racism or even think or talk about racism again
a++ congratulations all white people who played bioshock infinite
you get a certificate in not being racist because you played bioshock infinite
Lessons bicyclists learn from attacking my social justice blog:
1) if you are agitated by one outspoken pedestrian-American blogger’s opinion about someone attacking bioshock infinite, it is okay for you to stalk and harass them because bioshock infinite is literally Hitler.
2) because you’re black, you now know so much about racism and oppression that you have authority to try to school a random social justice warrior on their history and context (extra bonus: you get to decide which words in the english language I’m allowed to use but when I tell you that you can’t use the word bike or rubber because they hurt my feelings, you laugh)
3) you now qualify as an impassioned oppression expert because you were brave enough to reply to my post and call out this game for the horrible piece of racism propaganda that it is. And now you never ever have to examine your own transportation-discrimination or even think or talk about the oppression bicyclists like you cause ever again. You can go back to pretending like the oppression we pedestrian-Americans face is some sort of joke while you get to be oppressed by a videogame with magical flying racists.
A++ congratulations all black people who ever feel offended by history.
You are infinitely more oppressed than us pedestrian-Americans. Any time anything talks about racism, you automatically get to be the only ones oppressed. Never mind the lack of bicycles being a huge step toward equality, the fact that there wasn’t a giant neon sign saying that racism is bad is horrible discrimination.