This is Bicyclist Privilege

Because social justice is that important

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A True Story of Overcoming Oppression

I was inspired by the bravery in a fellow social justice warrior’s story that I needed to come out with another completely true story that shows that justice can exist as long as we keep blogging.  Again, this absolutely happened.
A little background before I tell you this true story.  (My friend owns a chain of bicycle shops but has since repented for his crimes against humanity and donates all profits to my blog like a good person should.  I decided to go with him to his shop.  He likes to go undercover so employees don’t know he’s the owner.  He’s weird like that.)
  • Me:

    “Excuse me, miss? Where is the pedestrian-American section of this shop?”

  • Clerk:

    ”Probably at a shoe store of something.  This is a bike shop.  We don’t have items for people who walk there.”

  • Me:

    “No need for that kind of language, and my shoe size is  11, so I can fit in some average-sized shoes, but I prefer to get my shoes from bicycle stores so that a bicyclist doesn’t have access to them.”

  • Clerk:

    “I’ll speak to you however I want. People like you are beneath the rest of us. Why don’t you just WALK (she spent 10 seconds emphasizing the word) over to another store.  You are literally human garbage.  This is how I normally speak to all customers who do not bring in bicycles.”

  • Me:

    “May I please speak to your manager? You are being very rude.”

  • Clerk:

    “Oh, no! You are not going to walk over me to get me in trouble just because you’re an inferior human being!  Again, this is how I actually speak to people at my job.  Get the f*** out of here!”

  • (My friend taps me on my shoulder and points to a section of the store.)

  • My Friend:

    ”The pedestrian-American shoe section is over there.”

    At this point one can hear “America the Beautiful” playing quietly in the background.
  • Clerk: *to my friend* “Why are you helping that walking scum?! We don’t serve his kind here!”(At this point her accent shifted to a stereotypically racist southern accent). 

  • My Friend:

    “Well, if you must know, I am actually one of his best friends. I have been for over ten years, and for about five years, I’ve been running several bicycle stores for my grandfather until he decided to officially hand the reins over to me two years ago.  Because my grandpa knows that I, a college student, am the best person to run a chain of stores.  I, despite my appearance, now own several lovely bike shops that cater to every American of every transportation-orientation…”

    At this point “America the Beautiful” is blasting throughout the entire block and the clerk is sweating nervously, on the verge of tears.

  • Clerk:

    *stares*

  • My Friend:

    ”…including this one. Now, I believe my friend asked for your manager, you oppressive piece of trash?”

  • (Upon hearing this, the clerk turns pale and pulls out a knife, indicating her refusal to stop oppressing me.  Just then, a bald eagle swoops in, snatching the knife from her hand and pins her against the wall until a team of Navy Seals passing by walked in to arrest her for her crimes against humanity.)

    And that eagle’s name was America.

Filed under true story justice freedom oppression injustice social justice body acceptance body policing privilege social justice warrior sjw sj politics bicycle cycling walking bicylist privilege

  1. woodchunkz reblogged this from surethattotallyhappened and added:
    O-OKay, I know I said I’d stop reblogging SJW stuff, but, this one is fuckin’ amazing.
  2. sexykamina reblogged this from surethattotallyhappened
  3. poolpigeon reblogged this from surethattotallyhappened
  4. trip-hop-on-pop reblogged this from bicyclistprivilege
  5. thebigbossofoshu reblogged this from surethattotallyhappened
  6. toothandfang reblogged this from surethattotallyhappened and added:
    Achoo! Achoo! I’m sorry. I’m allergic to BULLSHIT.
  7. donugee reblogged this from surethattotallyhappened
  8. surethattotallyhappened reblogged this from bicyclistprivilege
  9. thenotsogreatryan reblogged this from bicyclistprivilege and added:
    AND THE EAGLE’S NAME WAS AMERICA.
  10. buildthemagoldenbridge reblogged this from bicyclistprivilege
  11. captaincrinklesack reblogged this from bicyclistprivilege
  12. hagabao reblogged this from bicyclistprivilege and added:
    Can’t… breathe…
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